7-12-08

I just don't understand some peoples motivation for the things that they do.

I really could care less where their motivation for their actions came from as long as it doesn't involve me.

But when it does.. I have to step back and ask why...

This is my blog correct? Rehtorical question I know..

So that means I should be the only one inviting people that actually know me to my blog..correct?

Well that's how I feel..but people constantly overstep their boundaries when it comes to me..

This is my home..

So it is totally unexceptable to invite people over to my house when you don't live here...today and tomorrow..

I can forget about yesterday...and hope that it doesn't happen again...

But I am sure that this will not be the last time that I will be violated..

And quite frankly I'm immune to it now....

I just laugh it off... and realize that...

Those that are constantly paying so much attention to me...

Can't possibly have time to focus on themselves...

Damn...

Well welcome *you know who you are* **HUGS**...I'm sure that you were invited here to see the other side of history..but it's rarely ever here..because my attention is else where! But I hope you make yourself @ home..and enjoy yourself.

I'm back!!

I had to step back for a minute
So I could properly
Put on for my City :)
I’m a Supa-Nova
Waiting to explode
Haters get ready
Cuz I’m good for putting
On a show

I’m a lioness
A true Leo
At heart
A protector
And a nurturer
But if you cross my path
And leave your scent
Where I roam
More than once!!
I’m bound to pounce..
And sneak up on yo ass
Remain hidden
Yet, very diligent
ROAR!!
Really loudly
Just to scare

So please leave me alone
If you seethe Negativity
Because ya’ll know
Lionesses don’t do nuthin’
But hunt and sleep…
So if you don’t want
To be my meal
Keep the drama to ya self
Ya dig

Just thought I would let you know
Who the star is you gaze @ from afar
I’m down to earth
But people would
Like to see me be dim
When they know
I’m too fucking bright
To be from Venus
I’m an alien to Earth
Searching for Mars
But there’s no life there
And it’s too far

I am honest
I’ve fucked up
More than once
But I know
I’m a good student
In this school called life
Now, I don’t have a 4.0
Because sometimes I forget
To revise my notes
I forget to pay attention
To the most important
Lessons that I’ve been taught
But that’s apart of this school
Learning how to get up
After failing
After dropping out
More than once
I had to realize
School life will always be here
Until I die…
So I’ve learned to suck it up
And study those dreaded notes
Attending my detentions
Excepting my In-School-Suspension
Sitting here right now
In my desk
Prepared…
Waiting for Lifes next test



Yeah... I am very very very tired people!! I think I'm going through menopause or something early because I've been having these hot flashes. Mainly at night..I'll wake up and my tee shirt is usually soaked..and of course my flat ironed hair is sweated out..so it becomes curly..I've slept for maybe 4 hours each night all week..So I don't know if what I just wrote is even coherent....



You can't make yourself feel love

If it's not there

You can't in anyway possible

Force yourself...



Sometimes the perfect picture

Is right in front of you

Your eager to buy it

But after your purchase

You realize it's not quite

Exactly what you wanted

So you decide to return it

Because you couldn't

Stand the sight of

The Art you once loved

Not one minute longer



That's what love is like

One day it's daylight

The next day it's night

But the most important

Thing to remember is

There is always another day

Another love...to treasure

Then to throw away



**************************************************************************************************



So.... nice to meet you femme

I'm a girl who wants to be a boy

Always rockin Tims and a tie

On the streets they call me

Sir Swerve

Because I go down so good

Yeah..it's true what you heard

I'm that one who does it better

Than any boy

and even though

I want to be one

I'm still a girl



So what about that

Let me turn you out

Show you what these studs

Are all about

Got me all on your jock

Got me wanting to

Take off my bra

Drop down my boxers

Tie your wrist

To the bed w/ my tie

Lick you all over

W/ my tounge

It's not natural

But it's almost the same

W/ a strap on



So what about that

Lil sexy ma

I heard you braid

Come braid my hair

Let me talk to you a lil bit

And maybe you will

Come around

To letting me do

What ol' girl

Writing this

Mentioned above....





Hahah...okay..I have always been baffled..as to how a chick could want another chick who acted and basically wanted to be a boy..If they wanted a boygirl..why wouldn't they just get a boy? I think lesbianism should consist of two beautiful females loving each other..I'm sure most guys do too..Huh? Ya'll wouldn't want to see two studs going @ it right? And then what's even more confusing is how two studs can get together...I see it all down here so I just observe..



I hope I entertained ya'll tonight...gave ya'll a lil bit of variety...



Have a good Friday...

.....

Hey guys!!

Thanks for all of the support. I will not post your comments this time, because I know some of you are riding both sides of the fence..but thank you for the kind words.. Ya'll know who you are!

So yeah I gotta get on the phone with comcast because my internet has been down for a couple of days now..So that's why I've been absent.

I know will have a lot of catching up to do for the blogs I visit..

I hope everyone is having a good day..

I'll holla when I can..

HIP HOP VS. America

I really like this Hip Hop VS America show that BET is doing..

First of all..I grew up 'watching' MC Lyte..I saw watching because I was probably 3 or something but I remember being with my older half sister listening and watching her on videos..

I really didn't like the first part though. They had all of the male rappers up there..making a bunch of noise. Just like most of them do in their music..

The second part is pretty interesting. I am watching it as I am writing this...

I believe that Hip Hop isn't going to change..

Like Wayne said "Money, Cars, Clothes, Hoes...I'm from the ghetto so give me my.." Most of us..who didn't grow up in the "Baldwin Hills" saw some ish growing up. I know I did.

I saw girls @ 14 w/ babies. It was cool to be "fast"..is what my mom used to call it..

There were no jobs really where I'm from so there were a lot of drugs, lots of junkies..

Lots of girls looking to get a dope boy..

I've seen blood on the streets after somebody got shot..

I've seen a lady's hand that was almost severed in the projects..her man did it..

I've seen people start drama just because there is nothing better to do..

When I was little I used to give my cousins in the projects my "real money" in exchange for their food stamps..Back when they were paper.. lol.. before I knew what the "project" were..I thought I would go there and see all types of experiments..Ha!

So this is reality to people who grow up in urban areas. That's why most of the art of Hip Hop artist rap about all this grimy stuff. Some of them are fakes.. haven't experience what they rap about..

If they haven't they should rap in second person.. They should never say I..

I write all of the time outside of myself...I watch and observe..so I can write about it later..

We have to separate the two.. Until then it isn't going to change..

And as for the "video models"

It is a good job to have. I wouldn't mind having a gig or two..Depending on what it is..

I would def. pick and choose...but my ass isn't big enough.. That's what's wrong with Hip Hop right there..

Would I show my ass if I had one on the front of KING..Hell yes..lol..but I don't so that is just a fantasy..

Anyway..I pray for HIP HOP..because I feel like it's left me..when it actually helped raise me..

The Quietest Relationship

I've been wanting to do this post for sometime now.

I really don't talk to much about relationships. Mainly because I'm tired....physically and mentally of relationships. I am exhausted to the point where I'm unsure if I can begin to focus my attention on anyone but myself. Men are in question to me now. I am watching and learning from my male friends. I always have been one of the boys. A pretty boy they call me. I can maybe count on one hand the females in my life that I would call a friend. Of course I am taking note of the relationships of the females in my life. But my boys..like I've said before..man I love them all.

Me being one of the boys is the reason why I don't fall prey to those guys who have an ulterior motives. My boyfriends who I always tell that I don't have many female friends..and that I will sometimes go hang out with my guy friends...the boyfriend always says that the guys who are just my friend...always have a fantasy in their mind that they will one day have me. I've heard it time and time again...and I'm thinking am I really that deal for them to be trippin like that?

So this leads me to what I really wanted to say...The cool factor in a relationship between me and my partner is very important.

If we can't laugh and talk...there is no point..

"The most important part of a conversation is silence" Some lady on BET "Hip-Hip Hop Vs. America"

I talk..you listen..

You talk.. I listen...

I will hang up on you in a hot minute if I feel like I can't get a word in...Or in life..walk straight away because I do not like to argue longer than 1 min.. It makes my chest tighten up.. I don't think people should interrupt each other. It's called respect.

Then here it is...my whole point..and I have the best example..Over used..But the best...

What ever happens in our relationship..should be between us..and only us..

I do think there is an exception..if you are in therapy..because it goes no further than there..I don't even think relationships should be discussed with "close" friends..because people knowing too much of the business..is not smart..because people talk..friends or not..

Jay Z and Beyonce- Since the beginning have never talked about their relationship. Sure we always saw them together but we never knew anything. To the press they were untouchable..

Now back to most peoples reality..where there is no paparazzi following your every move.. In your relationship you tell it all...

You smear your partners name in the mud. And what's missing like in the US Weekly magazine is the truth. Privacy is the most important part of a relationship I believe.

Beyonce could be a man, she's not, but my point is we would never know.. Jay's feet could reek..but we wouldn't know..

So here is my question..

Would you stay with a person... In a relationship..

Or even be able to be cool if your not in a relationship...

With a person..

Who told all of your business..and like "writers" take your story and twist it to fit their emotions or views? Who only told one side of the story..Theirs..?

But then let's take it a step up..since my example is B and J..

What if your business and the relationships business is displayed all over the place..on the internet, in books, in articles..ect?