Bitch...those w/ the gene..take those pills..

That’s my bitch
first I know it’s
technically a female dog
but that’s exactly
what my bitch is
my female dawg
just spelled a lil different
a certain slang
but that’s my bitch
and that’s how we hang

Not all bitches
are “friends”
Not all bitches
can hang
Some bitches are bitches
because that’s their middle name
Shawty I was the one to say it first
they got the bitch gene
so that’s why
I only have a few bitches
on my team
most of them are older
and call me the same
Bitch hello
Trick good bye
It’s all in fun
until they turn
into fighting words
and me and my bitches
never go there
because we love each other
and bitch is a word
that we toss in the air
just like short
bitch is my favorite word***

*** Not really my favorite word.. That would be cantankerous…

Poem of the day..Just me typing away. Not recorded in my books. Me not giving my words a second look..

my mind has been cloudy
over the past few days
I knew it couldn’t be
but I thought that I
Had written all that
I could
But my soul itches
If I think of something
a line or subject of a poem
maybe an essay
that I think is worthy of
my thought
and if I don’t have a book
I know I’ll forget everything…

right now
I took a long pause
because I had to think
I took the power away
and my fingers couldn’t speak
my heart isn’t in control now
it’s barely beating
but I must give up now
because this isn’t writing
this is thinking….

Nite

Yeah..it's almost 12:30, and I am wide awake. I think I have some type of allergic reaction going on because my whole body itches. I keep eating sweet things, and drinking red bull. My skin is so sensitive. I need to be sleeping because my final is in the morning @ 8:00 am..and I have a hard time getting there by nine. I am not a morning person. I think I've studied enough, but who knows. I skipped one test, so my final will be doubled. I always aim for an A..But end up getting a B anyway..

I know that I must be sleepy because I'm running out of things to say. I usually don't have to think about what I'm going to write. Kinda just blurts right on out..So GOOD NIGHT BLOG!

I am like you
Or at least
You are a role model
That I look up to
The epitome of a strong woman
Who wouldn’t change her name
For a man
Now that’s what I’m talking about
Gotta throw some profanity in there
Damn..,

Strong beliefs
A well rounded character
Much knowledge
And willing to share it
I paid attention
To what you taught
Even though it may
Have seemed like
I wasn’t listening
And there was no hope
I was listening
And taking notes

It’s and Enders Game
And I’ll finish it
Blood shed and all
I’ll heal from it
Always picking
Myself up from the
Dirty ground when I fall
You’ve touched my spirit
And I appreciate it
From long distances
We’re writing
I knew you then
I know you now
You work it girl
Because you taught me how
I honestly kept writing
Because in your class
It felt so good
Growing up in those parts
Left me often times
Undecided and unsure
I’ve kept a book
Ever since then
Since I was about 16/17
So I'll never stop writing
Until I have no more days

Poem of the day..Just me typing away. Not recorded in my books. Me not giving my words a second look..

My child is oblivious
To what is going on
In the world
I remember as a child
When Bush #1
Was ruling the world
Just like W he went to war
Messed up the economy
Just like Bush #2

She has not a clue
What is happening
With the Democratic Party
How a man and a woman
Finally have a chance
To do something in history
That no man..of his character
Or woman…with her gene
Get elected into the White House
Forever changing the world
How America sees it
Founded on a land of blood shed
Robbery
Inequality and Sin

She won’t realize it now
But if this election isn’t fair
She will be riled up
In history class
When this subject is brought up

The last four poems were written for my midterm portfolio. Nobody was there messing w/ my line breaks..

Concrete Vs. Abstraction Graffiti

The first to break my heart
Although you should have been
The one to help hold it together
You were one half, the Y
That helped to create me
You were imperative to love

We are not all alike
Lost in space
Searching for our heads
Sure some rock from side to side
Terrorizing what they imagine not to be real
Giving “us” a bad name

At the lil’ green house on Pearl St.
Back in the eighties
I remember you knocking at the back door
My father’s daddy
Bringing me accessories for my ears
Clip-on’s

Standing there in front of four
Wanting that skirt
Not prepared for what I was doing
Shouting loud and moving
To a tune they did not know
Shame and disappointment

Fists Flying against my face
Because my mouth was fast
Is what you would say
Now you blame it on stress
Although you took it out on my face






Three months short of a year
You slept next to my heart
I felt every movement
You tap dancing around
I sang to you
While driving in the car
You’re more than I imagined

When I traveled to Heaven
You met me there
You said this was our new home
Just as I began to feel safe
Satan evicted us

The thoughts move at a rapid speed
If try to hush them, they scream louder
The momentum becomes too much
Especially when my chemicals aren’t balanced
The Devil summons God
And they fight over me

After I entered the world
The lady in the scrubs handed me to you
You washed my hair
And you told my mother I felt like warm clay
Just repeating the story
As you did
To keep it circulating
Just like one day
I’ll be meeting my grand-baby

I am more than one face
As I walk around in society
No one can say what I am
I’ve searched deep within
Mixed like sugar
Into ice tea
Although I am not
It’s just how others
Picture me

Broaden

Ivy leaves spread across the floor
Drenched them with gasoline
And watch them burn
Because the poison is present
And now no one will learn
From the mistakes made
Or the blood shed
History repeats it’s self
This old man once said
“They will ignore that fact
And step in the same ol’ mess”
He was right because my eyes
Were opened
To what was and what is now
I’ve opened my horizons
Allowing the change
And willingly letting go of their past
I can’t change the world
I can only broaden me

“Equivalent”

We start off the same
One a kind imminent from unlike wombs
Sharing same internal organs
Yet envy and jealousy is passed
Like a promiscuous woman
And for the female race
I am ashamed
So many unhappy faces
Tortured
“Mission Possible” bring chicks down
Bitches
Beware of them
They are hiding in seemingly perfect bodies
Predators searching for prey

Bankhead

Disorder everywhere
Drug induced psychosis
He took too much
Bankhead, Atlanta has the lot
Acid dropping from tree’s
Skittles in every color
He liked it so much
He decided to move
Away from it all
Away from what he knew

Boy meets girl
Mary Jane
His name is Bob
He has no money
Lives day to day
To get by he collects leafs from plants
He wants to drive her car
But she decides otherwise and leaves

Now he’s hit rock bottom
His blood is tainted
His nails are dirty
His hair is greasy
He needs to get clean
No where to let the dirt drip
From his body
Because the Darkness lingers
Spreads throughout similar families
Cantankerous cold
Souls go numb
Lives are ruined
Spirits are bruised
And they will never return to the beginning
Tainted by deadly sin
Hitting the pavement
Scarring up knees
Pleading their case
While reaching for the sky
And when no one answers
They lose hope

Bob is left with his mind wandering
Searching for the medicine
That will cure his passion
Not sure of which way to go
When every window is locked
And there are boarded up doors
Lost inside his angst
He searches for a rope
Finding what he searched for
His spirit forever hangs
Giving up finding the perfect key
To unlock his minds door

My Underwear

I was so in love with him. Or at least I thought I was. His name was Wil May, and I thought he had the coolest name in the whole world. I was introduced to him by my friend Lisa after a fashion show. I was in the audience with a group of my friends from school. We were there supporting Lisa. In South West Michigan, there is something called Blossomtime. Basically, every city holds their own pageant, and one girl out of so many gets crowned the queen of the city. In my friend Lisa’s case, she was Miss Eau Claire. Wil participated in the male version of Miss Blossomtime, and even though he won 2nd runner up, he was the cutest and most charismatic of the three guys that he was on the court. I was determined to make him mine once I saw him walk down that run way. After I told Lisa how well she did in the fashion show, I quickly focused things on me.
“Girl, Wil is so handsome. He should have won, but he’s black, so he had no chance. You know how your people like to do.” Lisa was a down to earth white girl. All my friends were since I was the only brown one. We always made smart ass comments to each other.
“You want me to introduce you to him? He’s really cool, and I know for sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Lisa smiled really big.
“You think he would like me?” I really wanted that boy.
“Let’s walk over and find out.” Lisa led me in his direction.
That’s how it started. After Lisa introduced us, we couldn’t stop talking to each other that night. Wil asked for my number as he walked me to my car. It was a bitterly brisk February in Michigan; the wind was blowing my hair all over the place.
“Yo lil Latina mami, do you think we could talk after this? I really like your personality, and not to mention you’re really cute.” I was thinking oh my, please don’t stutter. I have a tendency to do that when I get excited. I didn’t want him to think I was a retard. I spoke carefully, “You aren’t too bad yourself. You certainly captured my attention with that six- pack of yours.” I smiled really big thinking of him parading around in his swim trunks, and me trying to look for the imprint of his penis.
“You liked that huh? Well…It’s very chilly out here babe, and I don’t want my future to freeze, so store your number in my phone, and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.” He handed me his phone. It was the latest Nextel, not like my raggedy ass Nextel phone that always chirped people even when I wasn’t touching it. I stored my number. Then I called my number from his phone.
“I got yours too. I hope you don’t mind.” At that moment I promised that I wouldn’t become a bug-a-boo. Meaning I wouldn’t call him excessively and repetitively. Bug-a-boo’s are modern day stalkers. The call too much, e-mail too much, everything they do is too much. I couldn’t go there.
“That’s cool. Lock me in, and I promise to call you tomorrow. Can I have a hug?” Wil opened his arms, and my heart melted.
“You would like that wouldn’t you? Of course you can.”
“Yeah, I would.” I was ready to jump on him anyway, but when he said that, I really had to control myself. I moved closer to him, and gave into his request. We stood there in that spot with our arms around each other for about twenty seconds. He had on Curve for men, my favorite.
“Alright babe, have a good night.” He said while pulling away.
“Drive safe.” I waved goodbye to him, and got into my car.
Over the course of the next few weeks, we talked on the phone almost every day, but usually only for a short duration. We lived in different towns about forty-five miles away, and we were both in school and involved with extra curricular activities, which made it impossible for us to see each other. Until one Friday night while I was home working on a paper. My phone rang, and my caller id said it was him. I answered it.
“Hello.” My heart was beating so fast, and it seemed as if I was struggling for air. This always happened for about the first two minutes while I was talking to him. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. Even though I had never experienced one, I was positive that I had the symptoms. He sent me a text message earlier that day, telling me that he wanted to ask me something. I was praying that he would ask me to be his girlfriend. I grabbed my favorite pillow from the foot of my queen size bed, and held it tightly.
“Hey babe, you wanna go to the movies tomorrow?” He seemed enthused.
“Let me check my date book.” I laughed, trying to mask my nervousness. That wasn’t the question that I wanted to hear. You know I gave in though, “Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I don’t even think I remember what you look like.” I lied. He was drop dead gorgeous. I was determined to make him mine.
“Alright how about 7:00? Can you meet me at Celebration Cinema in Benton Harbor? I’ll drive down, and since that isn’t far from Eau Claire, I figured that would work.”
“Okay. We can do that. I’ll be looking forward to it. What are we going to see?” My heart was beating at a slower pace now. I was so happy, that we were going to see our first movie.
“I thought we would decide once we got there. If nothing is playing right away, we’ll grab a bite to eat while we wait.”
“Cool. I’ll be there. Be on time cuz’ I don’t like to wait.” I was serious.
“Fiesty, just like I like em.” His voice was so sexy.
I laughed at his comment, but I took control of the situation. I wanted to play hard to get, even though I wanted to play it hard. “I don’t mean to cut this short, but I need to finish this English paper. I procrastinated for so long, now I have to knock it out. I’ll call you later on tonight if it doesn’t get too late.” I really wanted to talk to him.
“Alright babe, hit me up if you can.” He hung up first, and I was sitting on my bed wanting to be held in his arms. I threw my pillow against the wall. I wanted it to be him that I was holding tightly, but it wasn’t. I was sad. I stood up, and began to pace my bedroom floor. Our date wasn’t until the next day, but I knew I had to prepare. I opened my closet door, and walked in. I am a control freak, and since I was about four I ran my own life as much as my parents allowed. That meant shopping for my own clothes, and decorating my own room. My mom had no style. I like the clothes in my closet to be color coordinated, and organized by style and type. I knew exactly what I had in mind for our date. I picked out my outfit, skinny jeans and this cute white J. Lo off the shoulder sweater that I got on sale at Macy’s. I couldn’t decide on whether to wear white or black boots. I tried to picture myself in my clothes to find the perfect boot. I decided to go with the black boots, because I had the perfect hand bag that matched. I hung my outfit back in my closet, and started to feel anxious again. I was ready that night, but I knew I had to be patient, so I went back to finish my paper.
We met that Saturday night, and everything went smoothly. I got there about ten minutes before he did. But I overlooked it since it started snowing earlier in the day and the roads were probably bad. The drive from South Haven to Benton Harbor can be hell in the winter, because of all of the black ice. I started to think about my two friends that lost their lives in car accident in last winter. I saw their faces, remembering the last time I saw them, at my job at Applebee’s. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. They died together, a tragedy almost like Romeo and Juliet. I was starting to get sad, but soon he chirped me to tell me he was pulling in the parking lot of the theater. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I was hoping that he would still like me after our first date. I wanted to be his girlfriend more than I wanted to get into Emory University. Sad, I know. Boys before education, but I was the only chick in my clique that was still a virgin. Prom was coming up in May, and I needed a boyfriend. Like many other girls who had been in my position, Prom night I was the night I was planning to be deflowered. I was prepared to get out of my car when I saw his car pull in a parking space a few spots away from me. I grabbed my purse, looked into my rearview mirror to make sure my hair was in place. I closed my door at the same time he did. He walked towards me, and when he saw me he reached out to hold my hand. Everything went smoothly from then on. “A Walk to Remember” was playing at 7:30, and even though he thought it was a chick flick he agreed to go.
After the movie was over, we walked out of the theater holding hands. That night it was cold, but the wind wasn’t blowing its chilling breathe as hard. Hand in hand, we walked towards our cars. Just as I was beginning to accept the reality that I would be going home single, he stopped walking. I stopped about two steps in front of him, and I turned around to face him. He grabbed me by my waist, and pulled me close to him. “I haven’t felt like this before?” He sounded like he was out of breathe, and I was wondering what he was talking about. I thought maybe he was about to have an asthma attack or something. He continued, “I mean no girl has ever wanted me to make her my girlfriend.” He was smiling, and he collected his cool. I had to play it like I wasn’t ready to turn a cart wheel, but I’m sure eyes lit up as I accepted the offer. My body was shivering from the excitement. I had forgotten all about being cold. Trying hard not to stutter I said, “I was wondering when you were going to ask me that?” He gave me the look that guys give girls in movies when they want to kiss them, and right there in the Celebration Theater parking lot is where we had our first kiss.
Now that he was my boyfriend, he had to perform all the boyfriend duties. We made more time to spend with each other. On the weekends we made sure to see each other. He always drove down to see me. I liked that. He agreed to go to my Prom if I would go to his. I found my dresses on the internet. We were wearing royal blue to my Prom, and yellow to his. He liked the colors because neither one of them were too girly.
The night of my Prom finally came around, and the anticipation was killing me. I wanted to get all this dancing and partying over, so Wil and I could start our own party. Just when I was sure I was ready to leave “Back that Ass Up” started to play. That was my jam, so I had to show my man what I had. I backed that ass up, all on him alright. After I was done my hair was a mess. I just wanted to get out of that elegance, and put on some jeans. I told Wil that I was ready to go. I said goodbye to the people worthy of knowing of my departure, and we left.
My parents knew that I would not be home that night. I had my alibi all set, because I didn’t need any problems. I told them I was staying at Lisa’s house. My car
was parked right in front of her house just in case my parent’s drove by. Wil’s mom just so happened to be out of town that weekend at some psychologist convention. We had the
house all to ourselves. The hall where the Prom was held was about forty-five minutes away from his house in Stevensville, Michigan. South Haven where he lived was a good nap away so I slept all the way there, because I figured I would need my rest. I had been up since 6:00 a.m. at the hair dresser, and I did not want to poop on our party. When we arrived at his house, he woke me up. I grabbed my bag from his back seat, and followed him in. His house was conventional, and well coordinated. Everything was either black or white. White couches, black curtains. He led me down this long hall way into this huge room. This room was painted all red, with white accessories. He told me that his room was dirty, and that his mom’s room was way more comfortable. I needed to go to the bathroom, so he pointed me to a door in his mom’s room. “While you’re in there take off that dress”. Wil was taking off his tuxedo.
My last “walks” as a virgin are memorable. On my way to the bathroom I was overjoyed. But on the way back, I got this funny feeling, as if something bad would happen. I got in bed with him, and he was on his back in nothing but boxers. I was totally turned on because my man and his muscles were sexy. He sat up to match my eyes. He looked into my soul it seemed, he grabbed me and we shared the most sensual series of kisses that we’d ever had. We had talked about this a couple of times. He knew that I wanted him to be my first. We also had talked about practicing safe sex. If we were going to do this, then it had to be done right. He was prepared. He grabbed a condom from his mother’s nightstand. He told me to remove my tee shirt and my panties. I did what he asked, and put them on his mother’s nightstand. He equipped himself, and got on top of me.
“Wil…..Are you here?” I heard the female’s voice first. He was busy hurting me. I didn’t think losing my virginity would be this painful. I pushed him off of me, and sat up. In a split second a woman walked in who I assumed to be his mother. She looked like a female version of him. I got out of her bed butt naked and embarrassed and grabbed my tee shirt and panties off of her nightstand.



I wrote this for a creative writing class that I had last semester. We had to do a writing work shop, where people told you what they didn’t like and what you should change. I didn’t write much poetry for my final portfolio, because I don’t want people telling me how to change my line breaks ect. This is “Fiction” with some actual truth to it. I’ll let you be the judge on what parts are factual. I used names of my friends, and the names of some of the towns where I grew up.

Poem of the day..Just me typing away. Not recorded in my books. Me not giving my words a second look..

I think I scare people away
From my blog
Because I’m too intense
I write what is real
It’s like an orgasm
It’s a release
Something too sticky
That I leave all over
This page
Like it or not
I’ma continue to say…
What I feel I must
My writing is like
The thrust
Of my body
Against these keys

Faced with the future
Like it or not
Have to do what you gotta do
Just to survive
Not putting myself at risk
To slip off a mountain
Called life’s cliff
Because I’m tiptoeing
Around what I know
Realizing that I must
But somewhat afraid to grow

I’m opening myself up
A new chapter on life
Words that are not recorded
On white paper with lines
I strike the keys
Like he strikes me
In a different way
I have much to say
And I will keep going
Forever
Until I have no more days
Then my words will be
Light to my family
Like spring or summer
Sun rays

So this is my poem for the day
I write to feel a void
that invades myspace
so until tomorrow
this is goodbye
and if I never come back
know that I’m peaceful
and that everything’s okay

I made it to work this morning, and ate chicken tacos for lunch. I popped my pills and about 20 minutes later I start to get nauseous when I was in the nap room. All of the kids who nap are of course flopping around on their mats like fish out of water. So I tell them, “You’re making Ms. *my name* dizzy, and if you keep moving I might throw up. It worked because most of them settled down. My meds make me so sick if I miss a dose, but it’s my own fault so I deal with the consequences. I am going to take a nap on my break, and maybe get some sprite or something.
It is such a dreary day here, and listening to some of the kids snoring makes me want to sleep. I have energy though despite the fact that I didn’t sleep much last night. Tonight the cast of the Independent Film that were shooting this summer is getting together tonight. I’m really not feeling it today. www.awareproductions.com is where you can go to view the trailer, and the slideshow of the cast. The trailer was shot by my professor many years ago, but the girl in the white gown is the part that I get to play. He was my Critical Thinking professor about 2 semesters ago. We instantly fell in love with each other. Well let him tell it I fell in love w/ him. I guess it sealed the deal when I got an A. (Critical Thinking is the hardest class @ my University. Out of my friends I’m the only one who got an A). Anyway last semester I had huge breaks in between my classes and I was his intern. We were getting the casting ready for the movie. He is a great guy, and I love him to death. I’ve gone to his house hysterical, because something in my life hurt me, and he held me. His boyfriend doesn’t mind. I love them both. Anyway even though I don’t feel that well today, I hope I feel better because I’m sure I need the practice.

Poem of the day..Just me typing away. Not recorded in my books. Me not giving my words a second look..

It is 3:18 in the morning, and I am wide awake. I’ve tried everything to try and fall asleep; watching tv, taking a shower, touching myself, eating left over Chinese food, reading. Nothing is working, and I know I am going to be cranky tomorrow. I have this strong desire to call in, but I hope I can get some sleep. I have stuff to do tomorrow. This whole weekend I have been lazy. Saturday my daughter was with her dad, and I spent the entire day in the dark in my room, typing on the computer. I didn’t even eat until 9:00 Saturday night. My serotonin or something is depleted, and boy do I feel it. I can’t find my meds, I think I left them at work in my Andy Warhol bag. *I hope* So yeah I can finally admit to myself that I feel sooooo much better when I take them. My bp is mostly depressive states. And when I take what I’m prescribed I return to how I am suppose to be naturally. A very bubbly outgoing person, but this ish right here..I hate it. If I can’t find it tomorrow at work, then I’m going to have to leave early to go to the pharmacy. I am committed to doing the right thing. People are counting on me..and I have shit to accomplish in life, and I won’t be able to if I’m bouncing back and fourth from sad to happy.







Is it hard not to judge?
A person in a wheelchair
Or a person who
Can’t walk w/ out crutches
But when you talk about MI
It’s a whole different subject
Because some of us
“Appear” not to be afflicted
Just walking around earth
Tick, Tick, Ticking
As “they” see us
We’re fragile as water balloons
Waiting to bust
You may not know it
But in the world
There’s a lot of us
And we know it
You judge

How would you put
Them in order
From not so bad
To mild
To worst case scenario
DID
ADHD
Depression
Anxiety
OCD
Dementia
Schizophrenia
Bipolar
Borderline Personality

I would love to know
That one day
Someone will love me
Even if I have multiple
Illnesses listed above
Because I might be crazy
But I don't judge

Thank God For MI

I wish I could start over
Go back and fix
Mix and match genes
Creating different alleles

What ever…
Happened that caused me
To have this label
That I want to peel off
And replace w/ “Stable”
But isn’t going anywhere
Because its terminal
And I’m exhausted
I want to run from it

Yet I know the cause
Isn’t going to hinder
My outcome
This is just something
To deal with
That will make me stronger
I’m gaining strength
Because one day
I will no longer
Be out of breath
Running from this shit
Called Bipolar Illness

I know “they” see me
And treat me different
I don’t know what good
The movies have done
For mental illness..
Created a sense
That we are all
CONSTANTLY
OUT OF CONTROL
Yet it’s different
For everyone
I am just a tiny part
Of a bigger whole


I do my best
To stay well
I go to the doctor
I exercise
I take my meds
I do research
I meditate before going to bed
I’m honest with myself
That’s the only way
I clear my head

And I know I can’t
Make people comfortable
With the mentally ill
I myself even hate
The way that sounds “ill”
Like were loose cannons
Always strapped
With emotional bombs
Tick, Tick, Ticking…
Waiting to go off

This is my place
To try to make
Others aware
To stand up and shout
“WE AREN’T ALL HOW YOU PROCEIVE”
I’ve opened up
My mind for the world to see

Damn titles..

So I’m a little bit happier since I emailed my bio prof. to ask him what I got on our last exam. This weekend hasn’t been all that great. Rainy days in GA. So anyway, he emailed me back, and told me I got 80%. I always miss at least 10. That is so weird no matter how much I study I always get a B. Oh well, I’m satisfied with that. Anything is better than a C. I study, but I believe if I studied more I would be a genius. The sad thing is that if I’m not interested in something that I’ve learned, then I’ll forget it when I don’t have to deal with it anymore. That’s why I realized that I don’t want to teach. Now I have to study for my final, and I need I believe a B to keep my B average. Last semester I had bio 1, and I was in the hospital and missed one of our exams. To make it up, he doubled my final. I ended up getting a B out of the class. This semester for one of our exams I didn’t study at all, and I had missed most of the lectures for the chapters on our exam. I knew I couldn’t take it, so I emailed my prof. and told him I was having “issues” and that I was too stressed to take the exam. He knew of my situation last semester so he agreed to let me double my final this time. I hope everything works out. I need to be studying now, but my daughter is asleep, and all I feel like doing is writing.
The last I don’t know maybe 15 poems or so haven’t been written in any of my notebooks. I just type them on word. I think I like typing them better than writing, because of course I type faster than I write. Plus they are somewhat safe on my computer that is protected by password. So when I get on a writing roll, then I’m on a roll. Sometimes I get dormant where I don’t really feel like writing, but right now I feel as if I must.

This illness is real
I have been taunted
Written about
By those who
Will never understand
But only we know
How this feels
To be flying high in the sky
Then without warning
Plummeting to the ground
To only be greeted
With nausea of an upset mind

I’m sure people
Who have no idea
Laugh
Snicker, and
Jeer
At those of us
Who are said
To not have it
All up there
But what good
Does that do?
It just shows how
Insecure they are
And makes them
Look like a fool
When we are
The ones suffering
From the lack of tools

....

Obscurity
Has set in
I’m having
A hard time
Writing
For I fear
For what’s in my head
My life is in the darkness
And I can’t get out of bed

It’s here again
I call it dim
Because the light
To my life
Is off
I didn’t pay the bill

My electric wiring
Is all mangled up
That when something
Happens out of my control
I want to yank
The plug out of the wall

Up and Down
I get dizzy
Then I fall
Back into the same pattern
Into the same position
I crawl
For fear of walking or running
I try to creep away from it all

Whyyyy!

Why is he telling our daughter that mommy is on a date?

Why isn't he telling her that mommy is busting her ass working and going to school?

Why is he so immature?

Why can't I be around him?

But why do I miss being around him?

Why is he going to be pleased @ the line above, and pissed off about the rest?

Why does this feel like this will continue for 16 more years?

And why do I feel like this wear and tear is killing me?
..............

Just a tip for Anonymous

Thanks for the nice poem “anonymous”, but I don’t like it when people comment on my page w/ out leaving some type of clue as to who they are. I guess I can’t make anyone not be anonymous, but I can sure suggest that “you” don’t. Leave an email addy or name or something..Or maybe people just want to aggravate me.

Why's? But it's not Wed...

Why do people believe Hillary’s lies?

Why do I believe she is going to get the nomination?

Why didn't she divorce bill?

And why doesn't she think he isn't doing the same thing?

Why do we still have a racial divide in our country?

Why did I use to date white guys?

And why do I think they treat me better than “us”?

Why did the Olive Garden stop selling my meat ravioli?

Why does the Olive Garden think people want ravioli with cheese, or mushrooms?

Why did my mother spank me for touching myself when I was a child, but now tells me to make love to myself?

Why don’t my half sisters talk to me, or each other?

Why are black woman jealous of other black women who have long hair?

Why do my uncles have blue eyes?

And how come I didn’t get blue eyes?

Why are people judgmental of people with mental illness?

Why do black men think black women w/ big asses, who usually have big stomachs and big everything else is sexy?

Why did skinny go out of style?

Why do most of “our” little boys want to grow up to be thugs?

Why doesn’t GA/Atlanta have any sidewalks?

Why hasn’t somebody tried to assonate President Bush?

And why do all the positive leaders such as Dr. King, and Mr. X, and JFK always get killed off?

Why does my mom’s church start at 11:00 am, but lasts until almost 3:00?

Why do all the black people in movies always die first?

Why don’t I like being told what to do, when I already know what to do?

Why don’t some people wash their hands after using the restroom?

Why is Thursday night, black people night at the clubs in ATL?

Why are people haters?

Why did TIP try to buy all those guns?

Why did Aaliyah die, and not Ashanti’s no dancing ass?

And why is Nelly w/ Ashanti?

Why am I terrified of police sketches?

Why would a man rape a woman?

Why is there a such thing as a “veggie burger”?

When it rains it pours

When it rains it pours
A cliché of course
But it’s true
I was told about
Someone’s grandmother
Those were her
Last words
Before she stopped breathing
And forever closed
Her eyes
On the world

That is deep
Very poetic
But she was right
When the clouds come
They tend to dump it
All out at once
So you don’t continue
To get soaked
Then once the tempest
Is over
You’re drenched
And sometimes
It’s hard to
Dry off
But being strong
Can help weather
The storm
Because once you
Think it’s passed
The thunder and lighting
Surprises your ass
And you’re in
The same position
Searching for an
Umbrella to shield
You from the rain
So clichés are true
But they are just over used