My Underwear

I was so in love with him. Or at least I thought I was. His name was Wil May, and I thought he had the coolest name in the whole world. I was introduced to him by my friend Lisa after a fashion show. I was in the audience with a group of my friends from school. We were there supporting Lisa. In South West Michigan, there is something called Blossomtime. Basically, every city holds their own pageant, and one girl out of so many gets crowned the queen of the city. In my friend Lisa’s case, she was Miss Eau Claire. Wil participated in the male version of Miss Blossomtime, and even though he won 2nd runner up, he was the cutest and most charismatic of the three guys that he was on the court. I was determined to make him mine once I saw him walk down that run way. After I told Lisa how well she did in the fashion show, I quickly focused things on me.
“Girl, Wil is so handsome. He should have won, but he’s black, so he had no chance. You know how your people like to do.” Lisa was a down to earth white girl. All my friends were since I was the only brown one. We always made smart ass comments to each other.
“You want me to introduce you to him? He’s really cool, and I know for sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Lisa smiled really big.
“You think he would like me?” I really wanted that boy.
“Let’s walk over and find out.” Lisa led me in his direction.
That’s how it started. After Lisa introduced us, we couldn’t stop talking to each other that night. Wil asked for my number as he walked me to my car. It was a bitterly brisk February in Michigan; the wind was blowing my hair all over the place.
“Yo lil Latina mami, do you think we could talk after this? I really like your personality, and not to mention you’re really cute.” I was thinking oh my, please don’t stutter. I have a tendency to do that when I get excited. I didn’t want him to think I was a retard. I spoke carefully, “You aren’t too bad yourself. You certainly captured my attention with that six- pack of yours.” I smiled really big thinking of him parading around in his swim trunks, and me trying to look for the imprint of his penis.
“You liked that huh? Well…It’s very chilly out here babe, and I don’t want my future to freeze, so store your number in my phone, and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.” He handed me his phone. It was the latest Nextel, not like my raggedy ass Nextel phone that always chirped people even when I wasn’t touching it. I stored my number. Then I called my number from his phone.
“I got yours too. I hope you don’t mind.” At that moment I promised that I wouldn’t become a bug-a-boo. Meaning I wouldn’t call him excessively and repetitively. Bug-a-boo’s are modern day stalkers. The call too much, e-mail too much, everything they do is too much. I couldn’t go there.
“That’s cool. Lock me in, and I promise to call you tomorrow. Can I have a hug?” Wil opened his arms, and my heart melted.
“You would like that wouldn’t you? Of course you can.”
“Yeah, I would.” I was ready to jump on him anyway, but when he said that, I really had to control myself. I moved closer to him, and gave into his request. We stood there in that spot with our arms around each other for about twenty seconds. He had on Curve for men, my favorite.
“Alright babe, have a good night.” He said while pulling away.
“Drive safe.” I waved goodbye to him, and got into my car.
Over the course of the next few weeks, we talked on the phone almost every day, but usually only for a short duration. We lived in different towns about forty-five miles away, and we were both in school and involved with extra curricular activities, which made it impossible for us to see each other. Until one Friday night while I was home working on a paper. My phone rang, and my caller id said it was him. I answered it.
“Hello.” My heart was beating so fast, and it seemed as if I was struggling for air. This always happened for about the first two minutes while I was talking to him. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. Even though I had never experienced one, I was positive that I had the symptoms. He sent me a text message earlier that day, telling me that he wanted to ask me something. I was praying that he would ask me to be his girlfriend. I grabbed my favorite pillow from the foot of my queen size bed, and held it tightly.
“Hey babe, you wanna go to the movies tomorrow?” He seemed enthused.
“Let me check my date book.” I laughed, trying to mask my nervousness. That wasn’t the question that I wanted to hear. You know I gave in though, “Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I don’t even think I remember what you look like.” I lied. He was drop dead gorgeous. I was determined to make him mine.
“Alright how about 7:00? Can you meet me at Celebration Cinema in Benton Harbor? I’ll drive down, and since that isn’t far from Eau Claire, I figured that would work.”
“Okay. We can do that. I’ll be looking forward to it. What are we going to see?” My heart was beating at a slower pace now. I was so happy, that we were going to see our first movie.
“I thought we would decide once we got there. If nothing is playing right away, we’ll grab a bite to eat while we wait.”
“Cool. I’ll be there. Be on time cuz’ I don’t like to wait.” I was serious.
“Fiesty, just like I like em.” His voice was so sexy.
I laughed at his comment, but I took control of the situation. I wanted to play hard to get, even though I wanted to play it hard. “I don’t mean to cut this short, but I need to finish this English paper. I procrastinated for so long, now I have to knock it out. I’ll call you later on tonight if it doesn’t get too late.” I really wanted to talk to him.
“Alright babe, hit me up if you can.” He hung up first, and I was sitting on my bed wanting to be held in his arms. I threw my pillow against the wall. I wanted it to be him that I was holding tightly, but it wasn’t. I was sad. I stood up, and began to pace my bedroom floor. Our date wasn’t until the next day, but I knew I had to prepare. I opened my closet door, and walked in. I am a control freak, and since I was about four I ran my own life as much as my parents allowed. That meant shopping for my own clothes, and decorating my own room. My mom had no style. I like the clothes in my closet to be color coordinated, and organized by style and type. I knew exactly what I had in mind for our date. I picked out my outfit, skinny jeans and this cute white J. Lo off the shoulder sweater that I got on sale at Macy’s. I couldn’t decide on whether to wear white or black boots. I tried to picture myself in my clothes to find the perfect boot. I decided to go with the black boots, because I had the perfect hand bag that matched. I hung my outfit back in my closet, and started to feel anxious again. I was ready that night, but I knew I had to be patient, so I went back to finish my paper.
We met that Saturday night, and everything went smoothly. I got there about ten minutes before he did. But I overlooked it since it started snowing earlier in the day and the roads were probably bad. The drive from South Haven to Benton Harbor can be hell in the winter, because of all of the black ice. I started to think about my two friends that lost their lives in car accident in last winter. I saw their faces, remembering the last time I saw them, at my job at Applebee’s. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. They died together, a tragedy almost like Romeo and Juliet. I was starting to get sad, but soon he chirped me to tell me he was pulling in the parking lot of the theater. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I was hoping that he would still like me after our first date. I wanted to be his girlfriend more than I wanted to get into Emory University. Sad, I know. Boys before education, but I was the only chick in my clique that was still a virgin. Prom was coming up in May, and I needed a boyfriend. Like many other girls who had been in my position, Prom night I was the night I was planning to be deflowered. I was prepared to get out of my car when I saw his car pull in a parking space a few spots away from me. I grabbed my purse, looked into my rearview mirror to make sure my hair was in place. I closed my door at the same time he did. He walked towards me, and when he saw me he reached out to hold my hand. Everything went smoothly from then on. “A Walk to Remember” was playing at 7:30, and even though he thought it was a chick flick he agreed to go.
After the movie was over, we walked out of the theater holding hands. That night it was cold, but the wind wasn’t blowing its chilling breathe as hard. Hand in hand, we walked towards our cars. Just as I was beginning to accept the reality that I would be going home single, he stopped walking. I stopped about two steps in front of him, and I turned around to face him. He grabbed me by my waist, and pulled me close to him. “I haven’t felt like this before?” He sounded like he was out of breathe, and I was wondering what he was talking about. I thought maybe he was about to have an asthma attack or something. He continued, “I mean no girl has ever wanted me to make her my girlfriend.” He was smiling, and he collected his cool. I had to play it like I wasn’t ready to turn a cart wheel, but I’m sure eyes lit up as I accepted the offer. My body was shivering from the excitement. I had forgotten all about being cold. Trying hard not to stutter I said, “I was wondering when you were going to ask me that?” He gave me the look that guys give girls in movies when they want to kiss them, and right there in the Celebration Theater parking lot is where we had our first kiss.
Now that he was my boyfriend, he had to perform all the boyfriend duties. We made more time to spend with each other. On the weekends we made sure to see each other. He always drove down to see me. I liked that. He agreed to go to my Prom if I would go to his. I found my dresses on the internet. We were wearing royal blue to my Prom, and yellow to his. He liked the colors because neither one of them were too girly.
The night of my Prom finally came around, and the anticipation was killing me. I wanted to get all this dancing and partying over, so Wil and I could start our own party. Just when I was sure I was ready to leave “Back that Ass Up” started to play. That was my jam, so I had to show my man what I had. I backed that ass up, all on him alright. After I was done my hair was a mess. I just wanted to get out of that elegance, and put on some jeans. I told Wil that I was ready to go. I said goodbye to the people worthy of knowing of my departure, and we left.
My parents knew that I would not be home that night. I had my alibi all set, because I didn’t need any problems. I told them I was staying at Lisa’s house. My car
was parked right in front of her house just in case my parent’s drove by. Wil’s mom just so happened to be out of town that weekend at some psychologist convention. We had the
house all to ourselves. The hall where the Prom was held was about forty-five minutes away from his house in Stevensville, Michigan. South Haven where he lived was a good nap away so I slept all the way there, because I figured I would need my rest. I had been up since 6:00 a.m. at the hair dresser, and I did not want to poop on our party. When we arrived at his house, he woke me up. I grabbed my bag from his back seat, and followed him in. His house was conventional, and well coordinated. Everything was either black or white. White couches, black curtains. He led me down this long hall way into this huge room. This room was painted all red, with white accessories. He told me that his room was dirty, and that his mom’s room was way more comfortable. I needed to go to the bathroom, so he pointed me to a door in his mom’s room. “While you’re in there take off that dress”. Wil was taking off his tuxedo.
My last “walks” as a virgin are memorable. On my way to the bathroom I was overjoyed. But on the way back, I got this funny feeling, as if something bad would happen. I got in bed with him, and he was on his back in nothing but boxers. I was totally turned on because my man and his muscles were sexy. He sat up to match my eyes. He looked into my soul it seemed, he grabbed me and we shared the most sensual series of kisses that we’d ever had. We had talked about this a couple of times. He knew that I wanted him to be my first. We also had talked about practicing safe sex. If we were going to do this, then it had to be done right. He was prepared. He grabbed a condom from his mother’s nightstand. He told me to remove my tee shirt and my panties. I did what he asked, and put them on his mother’s nightstand. He equipped himself, and got on top of me.
“Wil…..Are you here?” I heard the female’s voice first. He was busy hurting me. I didn’t think losing my virginity would be this painful. I pushed him off of me, and sat up. In a split second a woman walked in who I assumed to be his mother. She looked like a female version of him. I got out of her bed butt naked and embarrassed and grabbed my tee shirt and panties off of her nightstand.



I wrote this for a creative writing class that I had last semester. We had to do a writing work shop, where people told you what they didn’t like and what you should change. I didn’t write much poetry for my final portfolio, because I don’t want people telling me how to change my line breaks ect. This is “Fiction” with some actual truth to it. I’ll let you be the judge on what parts are factual. I used names of my friends, and the names of some of the towns where I grew up.