I miss my daughter.

I miss my daughter. My mom and numerous other people who quite frankly should mind their business think that I have too much other things going on in my life to really devote the time I need to her. This is true that I am working two jobs, and going to school. I see me doing all of this now, is going to better our future. I know I am missing out on her toddler years, and it’s killing me. I didn’t work for the 1st year after she was born. I was miserable not having my own life, and just being a mommy and a fiancé. As soon as I got out and started school and meeting people, my attitude instantly changed. My mother always made sure that I understood that she gave her life up for me. That meant she didn’t have any boyfriends stay over. She hardly ever went out. She decided to stop living her life just because she had brought one into this world. Maybe in another time and place I would feel the same. Like if I were living back in Michigan where there is nothing to do. But I am here in the ATL where any opportunity is out there if I want it. As a child after being drilled her philosophy all of my childhood, I decided that I wouldn’t and couldn’t just live my life for my child. I had to live for me, which makes a happier mommy. I do miss the time away from her, and hopefully after I finish school things will slow down and I can be there more. Until then her dad will be her favorite, and I will feel sad when she says she wants to stay with him. I will live for me.