If you were here
I wouldn't have
Lasted this long
in this place
We call the "A"
I would have
come rushing home..
I would have thrown
This life away
Just to sit at
Your kitchen table
And look into your
Eyes..
While your admire
My baby..
But now I talk
To the sky
I know you're wringing
Your hands..
At all this stuff
I'm going through
But your life wasn't
Easy either
But look at what trouble
Made you...
The tales you told me..
As a child..
I listened..
and I watched..
Some brought tears
To my eyes
Because my grandma
was so strong..
and I knew one day
I would have to carry
Your legacy
Alone..
If you were here
We could have a toast
to my 24 years
Here on this
Tainted earth
Where I had
The most
Meaningful relationship
With the greatest person
You..
My grandmother..
The person to touch
Me..
First...
*****
I miss her so much. I was 6mts pregnant when she died. For the fact that my placenta felt like it was being ripped apart when I cried..I couldn't grieve. I suppressed it all..and til this day I can't really say that I have. I am crying as I'm typing this. I had a dream about her 2 nites ago..and she said to me "You haven't been looking for me"...I gave her a big hug..
The last time I talked to her, I was at my doctors appt. about to drink that nasty stuff to test to see if you have gestational diabetes. *funny she had diebites*..anyway..I loved Doc Martin shoes when I was in high school. I had worn a pair she bought me to the doctors that day *they had to be 2 or 3 years old*Which I never wore any more..something that day told me to wear them... I told her how much I weighed which was close to 170..and she told me I better stop eating so much. I remember looking down at my shoes..
I never thought that would be the last time that I would talk to her.
Foia "F-w-aah"
About Me
- Foia
- I am a Mother, Teacher, Student, Model, Music lover, Eat all the time-r, and never gain any weight-er.. I am a poet, who doesn't follow the rules. I write my heart out literally. I will continue until my heart no longer has a beat. I love to read anything from Cosmo to Silvia Plath to *J. California Cooper*. I'm growing up, I don't want go to the club unless I'm working. *Go Cocktailers* I am a junior in college majoring in Communications/Journalism. I thought was going to teach, but then I realized I don't like to retain useless information.. I asst. teach at a Montessori school where I constantly catch colds. I love the kids though.Wit their bad asses! Back in the day I enjoyed long walks on the beach with my friends, but since I moved from Michigan to Atlanta where there is no beach at. All I can do is reminisce about stomping the sand from my flip flops as I walked into my mothers house. I don’t like math. In fact I loathe it. I was a Montessori child myself, and it made me that way. I am an advocate for mental health. Everyday I fight to break down the stigma. And I will keep going on and on because I love to write.
When I worked @ Motions Xmas time 07'
Check the boots..
4 comments:
awwwwh mami you had me catching chills over here....
happy that you got a chance to know that wonderful woman who took care of you.....
cry mami, thats what you need to do sweetie and cherish those wonderful memories she left with you
Thanks for sharing this.
I felt full as I read it.
My G-ma died when I was only thirteen but it feels like yesterday, I miss her kiss, smell, hugs, laughter and accent, she was from up north and she was very beautiful. My grandfather at 16, I miss him too, he would keep me over the summers while my brothers were at the boys club. I only knew my mom's parents my da's parents died before I was born and when I was five, but I really wish I could have spent time with them more, just to absorb them.
Thanks for sharing. My grandma died when I was a senior in high school. She was my best friend. I have such vivid memories of her. Whenever I want to feel close to her I cook something that she used to make me like squash.
Hey..cc, dreamy and butterfly...thanks for coming by..glad ya'll felt me..
Post a Comment