Randomness

Today was a good day. I have some pretty cool professors. I think I'm getting a quality education. I love the small class sizes. It reminds me of how my hs used to be. A very cozy and intimate environment. No more than 30 something of us per class. I have a class with only 8 people. The professor is cool, and really personable. She makes sure you do your work, unlike some professors who don't care one way or another. She has been pissed at me more than once this semester. She speaks her mind, and she will let you know what's up. Everything bothers me, so I had to ask her what she meant by the comments that she made to me, about me. She told me that she expects a lot, because she thinks that I'm smart. This is the first time she was pissed @ me. We made up. Then I get her mad at me Tuesday,to the point where she was avoiding eye contact and walking past me in the hallway rolling her eyes. It's was hilarious! I felt bad. So again that bothered me, which made me crash what I had to do next. Then today I apologize again, and she said that she really appreciated it. I'm not going to tell you why and what she said, because eh..

So it's test time in all of my classes. The first real round of see what you've absorbed time. I have a FEAR that I've lost the true technique of writing. I believe that it's due to the fact that I'm a poet. I don't use punctuation. I've used too many ....... to separate sentences that I forgot how to write technically. I had this thesis due for my media and culture class yesterday by 2:00. I was sitting in my previous class taking notes, listening, and trying to work out my thesis. I knew my professor probably wouldn't be impressed. Her PhD is from Emory, and is kickin our asses accordingly. The thing is I believe that I am a good student, but I have to be guided in some way. Many of my classmates feel as if we don't know which way we are going. I don't think I'm performing how I know that I can. We are learning about fear in the media, and we fear her. lol. We just don't know what to expect. Yet, overall she is great at what she does. She is passionate which is good, but she is kick ass. She is my adviser also, and I must say that I should have listened to her when she said 18 credit hrs would be a lot.

I studied all night last night for our first exam for media and culture. Thanks to Red Bull I was able to stay up. I got up this morning fearing what conundrum I was going to encounter @ 12:45.

Fast forwarding to the exam. Her TA's give the exam. There is a time limit on the exam. I'm having an anxiety attack and I felt like I was about to pass out. They hand out the test, and I flip it over. It was 3 or 4 multiple true/false questions, and 3 short essays. I think I missed one of the multiple choice questions. It is possible with my luck that I missed all of the multiple choice. Then the essay part. My penman ship is not too pretty, but mechanical pencils help out a lot. I didn't indent my paragraphs. All I could think of was pour all of this information out on this page. I know she's gonna be like WTF? Next time I'll know better. Overall I think I emptied what I learned onto the paper. I don't know again with my luck I may have perceived it all wrong.
It wasn't that bad though. I still have fear in me. haha

Then comes this thesis statement. We were to pick a film, watch it, and analyze it. Not give the plot summary. I'm finding that to be the hardest thing to separate. So last night it finally all came together when I thought about all of the media cultural theorist ideas and how they related to my film. Today my partners and the TA gives me back their comments. *I called them baby B's. Everyone thought that was funny because they are just like her. No bull shit please. So I looked at it my comments and thought damn I type too damn fast, and I already know my words so it's kind of hard to catch mistakes. She again probably believes I'm not with it, but at least I'll know better *hopefully* next time.

I really love my choice of major. I am ready to become a part of that dirty world, because if you do not know it is grimy. From what I'm learning and confirming what I already know, is that media jobs and what not aren't going anywhere. Confirming what I already know is that there is a deeper meaning to everything that we represent. We are only presenting images in society. Nothing about life is authentic anymore. I am able to question authority, and critically think about the spectacles that are orchestrated around us all. Take for instance this whole Palin thing. I don't care if I spelled her name right or not, but the media is making a bigger deal out of this lipstick wearin' pig instead of focusing on the real issues. Hello, we Americans are hurting and all they the media can talk about is pork. I know that the world and society is tainted something terrible. It just dawned on me that I am confused. They are training us, giving us test and what not, making us understand theorist,so that we can go out there and work for the spectacle?? Life is a damn spectacle, and I'm confused why am I feeling like I'm in the military and they are training me to be okay with killing?

I have an Alice in Wonderland clip.. It's voice over. I like it. Pretty clever. Check it out..