10.17.08

I've seen and read, but never realized that fiction almost always has some type of character with a disability. "Of Mice and Men," "Memoirs of a Geisha," "The Darkest Child," "The Color Purple," comic book characters ie. Batman has it's share of mentally ill evil guys. The disability can be visible(physical) or invisible(mental, sometimes) and are perpetuated by the media in a way that I don't know if I'm too pleased with.

For instance I was watching Law and Order: SVU the other night, and Stablers daughter supposedly is mentally ill. She apparently inherited the gene from her grandmother, which is Stablers mother. Whom he's ashamed of. I missed the beginning, but I gathered that his daughter had been doing a whole lot of things that were erratic. Stabler gave some evidence up on his daughter, because jail was the only place where his daughter could be forcefully medicated. So Olivia goes to find Stablers mother, to make a long story short..His mother described how Stabler was ashamed of her because she was always high strung and eccentric. She told Olivia that one night she was driving with her husband and Stabler in the snow, and thought she was chasing snowflakes. Due to her hallucination she crashed, and Stablers arm was broken. The grandmother then agrees to go talk to the granddaughter to get her to agree to take medicine. She convinces her. Stablers daughters last words to her grandmother were "Do you think I'm crazy?" The grandmother replied, "I think you're just different darling." Something along those lines...

You never see a "mentally ill" person who has their shit together. Why can't we see a representation of a person who takes their meds, a person who runs a support group, a person who goes to therapy? I understand, but at the same time, I have no clue.

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CRASH
That is all I remember
When I busted into that tree
That cold, drafty, December
I didn't have my seat belt on
....And now I'm a quadriplegic
I've been told that I'm lucky
That I don't need a trache to breathe
I can turn my head
So I am able to look where I please

I remember when he first saw me
In traction in room 203
He came in strong
He came prepared
Until he internalized
That I could not move
Like I once did
My beautiful limbs
Forced now...
To be frozen still
My brain is still alive
He realized as so did I
That my body
As I knew it in the past
...Was dead
He rubbed my hand
As I starred into space
Because I couldn't believe
That I would no longer
Enjoy my husbands stroke
...inside of me
EVER EVER AGAIN
And before this happened
We were planning to have kids..

That was three years ago
And he's still here
Treating me just the same
Only now has to bend down to kiss me
I can still feel my lips
And how I wish to stand
Eye level with him
Just once again
Instead I've found a home
Right in my chair
And our intimate life
Is a little different
But please believe
It is still there
I am just glad
That he's still here
And that he's not ashamed
Of his wife
........Or her disability
Or this gift of a chair