ROOOOOAAAARRRR!

Wow...The last couple of days have been interesting. I told you this week would be a doozie. My insight is always on point. I don't like to divulge all of my personal business on my blog. I choose and select what I put out here.

So this I will tell.

Things haven't really been pleasant on the home front. "His-story" probably has a canted version, so check it out. I get a phone call from my mother at work, and she's asking me about a poem on my blog. I'm like WTF? I have two blogs..myspace which is so diluted from what poetrynoir is. I asked her how she knew about my blog. She tried to say that her godsister kids are on my myspace and told her about it. But the particular poem she was referencing isn't on myspace. AH HA! So I asked her over and over again how she knew about it. She finally said her friend found it. Bull shit! His-story probably gave the url to her just to be spiteful. I think his motive was to tell my mother in hopes that I would take poetrynoir down. Nope! Won't happen!

I was at work livid nonetheless. I feel yet again like a little kid who's privacy has been invaded. She had the nerve to tell me to take it down. How dare someone try to censor me. Number one I don't use names, and I always add different details ect to most of the pieces I write. I AM A WRITER, AND I AM NOT SELF CENTERED! I CAN AND WILL WRITE ABOUT EVERY FUCKING THING UNDER THE HOT ASS SUN. Unlike other writers I don't have to give every single detail about my life. Of course I write about me, but I also speak from different voices. THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE FORGET TO UNDERSTAND. I know some writers who can't write unless the story involves them. How are you creating art, if you are the only character that you present to your readers?

My whole demeanor changed instantly when I found out that she read my blog. I had already been crying all morning, which I hardly ever do unless it's serious. I felt like I wanted to scream, or take a shot of Patron. I needed something to calm my nerves. My first thought was to take down my blog, since a part of my world has been invaded by people who AREN'T welcome. I know my blog is public, but I don't give my blog out to all of the people I know. A couple of people from my life know, but my mom! No! That isn't cool...but I'm not taking it down. There is probably some ugly stuff on here, and I won't take it down. When you go to places you have no business going, you may experience some unpleasant sensations.

Okay..I just wrote from my heart on this one. Right now at this moment I don't care...

Exposed
My art, that I create
Has been compromised
By on lookers
Who are better off
With their eyes closed
And not in my business
Even though they figure
That in my business
Is where they belong
Until I publish..
A book of my poems
I think I have a right
To filter my viewers
By not displaying my blog
To those who I don't welcome
Into this part
Of my life...
Who actually know me..

Poetrynoir is private
In the sense
That you can't search
Under my government name
And find Some Kind of Therapy
Cuz I go by FOIA *fwaah*
Poetrynoir is dark
It is my reality
And how dare anyone
Try to hush me...
Because it won't work
.....Just conjured up
A whole lot of
Hot air and wind
And tropical depression Foia
Has just been upgraded
To a hurricane
And I'm about to storm

So now you know
All about me
Being in the Hospital
Does it make you happy?
Does it make you proud
To fucking know
That you have a Bipolar child?
It's all your fault
And yes I point the finger
At you and my father
The gene generators
Ya'll could have made up
Where ya'll lacked
Nature vs. Nurture
But my tabla rasa
Was scribbled on
From day one
I was never a blank slate?
Was I?
Huh????
Nah..cuz I was Locked
How could I ever be free?
I felt trapped, often
But which led me to actually
Getting to know the true me
My lack of security
Drove me straight here
To "Some Kind of Therapy"

This may be hard to swallow
But even though I'm mad
I still love you..

I write from the heart
I write in the light
I write in the dark
I know myself
And there were many times
Material items were lost
And I know
I don't have much
But my knowledge of self
Is one thing I know
I will forever hold onto
No matter what

The places that I have walked
Have shaped the person that I am
I wouldn't trade the experiences
I've had for nothing
Because boy...I've got stories to tell
That's what makes me such a great
Rhythm-reflectionist
Because I view the world
And relay it back
How I see it..
Raw and Uncut
And I will write
Until the day..
My.Heart.Stops.
Like it or not
I am what I am
And if you don't love me
I can do bad all by myself

I don't want pity
I am not cause for concern
It makes me want to throw up
To think that you know
Keep your comments to yourself
Because you'll only make things worse
And yes I remember..
How you talked about everyone "else"
So go ahead an pray
If it makes you feel better
Tell people if you want
I am still a pretty picture
And from far away
No one can even tell
That my frame is slightly broken
So do as you please...
As hard as this was..

I AM FINALLY FREE!!

One last thing...
From now on when you stop by
Say hi
Those of you who "know" me
Why are you invisible?
That's kinda like spying
And that's rude
Going to someones house
And walking through their door
Not saying one word
When you know
What the home training rules...say
That you open your mouth
And say hello


I'm done roaring for tonight. The lioness is tired. In more was than one. I know I know..I shouldn't let things upset me..But I hope that I am understood, this is something that is worth my blood pressure being high for. My poetry, my words..my life..I write about it..That's the first process for me that helps me to let things go...


I am about to put my comments back to where I have to approve them first. So, please all of my readers leave your email because I'm thinking the blog is going private!

*******************Did ya'll watch Americas Next Top Model tonight? They have a transgendered model on there..And He/She is pretty..I couldn't believe it when they said it!! ******************************