I really need to get better at making up titles...

School is ruining my love for writing. I am tired of thinking. I am tired of my mind being enlightened to what the media is all about. Hell, I want to go work for them. I already have a hard time keeping a job, so I don't need to know any dirty information about my future career. Instead this semester is reinforcing my belief to not give a what.

Think about this ya'll...

I just found out that because I dated white boys, that they/I ate the "other". bell hooks this dope media culture theorist wrote about how when a white man seeks to sleep with a woman of color that he is only doing it because he wants a sense of adventure. Being white is viewed as pure and boring. While being colored means you are primitive and more exciting. They want to engage in adventure, and through sleeping with an "other" they gain a sense of thrill. That is why the white person eats the other. The other being the colored person. And the colored person doesn't have to be black..chile she had the races ranked by who they would want the most. African American females were number 1. They do this not realizing or believing that they are carrying on the white dominate roll of the past. This shocked the hell out of me!

I understood exactly what she was talking about. I understood it from my perspective though. Deep down inside I felt that me gaining white guys attention I was in some what better than the colored girl who couldn't. I felt like having a white boy put me on a whole different level. Even though my choice at the time was based on being fed up with black guys doing my dirty @ age 16 I made my choice to become the "other" who got eaten.

My professor explained that these rolls can never be reversed. If a black guy is with a white girl..she is eating your ass..you have no power. You are still the minority. She dominates over you, because she is white.

Now that I know this right here..it makes me skeptical about if a white guy talks to me or wants to date me that he is trying to "eat the other." That's the type of shit I'm talking about. Some things you just don't need to know. LOL...


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I'm going to dig into her past
To see what was up with Silvia Plath
Because I'm afflicted with the same disease
Except I don't know if I'll one day be published
When I can no longer breathe

I feel fed up
Just like all poets, they say
We can see the world for what it really is
How beauty isn't always beautiful
And how ugly times can heal
But there always will come a time
When we're destined to erase ourselves away
Poof..disapear..into thin air
When we can no longer handle it
......It depends on the poets personality
That decides how it's done..

Because everything is sooo deep
And we always swim out too far
When we should have swam in the shallow in
Because we are really guppies
Though we'd like to think of ourselves as sharks

Poetry..
A gift and a curse
A cliche that is true
And the truth hurts
It is my lifeline
Yep I know it's gonna get cut short
But it won't be depended on anybodys doing
I will pull my own damn cord..


Because I view life through the lens of a poet..