I am so scared
To even date
Because every time a dude
Even looks at me
I question if he's gay?
Does he hang out in Midtown
Is he pretending to be straight
Would he take me to a gay bar
Would he say
That we were there
Just to grab a drink?
Because that's what I think
When every dude
Opens his mouth to speak..
Even if I do use a condom
If he's worthy of getting me
Into the sheets
The rubber might break
And all of his nut
Will be emptied
Into my stuff
Possibly making me sick
Forever
And then eventually
Killing me off...
Putting me down
For a never ending sleep
All because of what I thought
Was pleasure
But it was only
The devil planting
His evil seed
Because if I let my guard down
A man could just do this to me
Any day now..
Any moment...
I could find out he is gay
When all of this time
He had me fooled
Pretending to be straight
How bout this scenario
He stays w/ a dude
But he claims
That his roommate
Is just his friend
And pays rent
But come to find out
He was letting him
Beat his meat
All of this passed time
And now I am subjected
Possibly to HIV
And could be dying
Right now..
As I speak..
Nah I'm straight
On that D tip
Because I'll never know
If that penis
That is trying to get me
Has a strange discharge
Dripping from it
All because he might of
Stuck it in some nasty bitch
And may want
To contaminate me..next
This is what I think about
Every time a man..
Approaches me..
I'm thinking that he's sweet
*************************************
I have nothing to say
Yet I'm amazed
The thoughts seem
To fly by
Through my head
Quite fast...
Hauling ass..
I am ready
To finish what I started
The most important
Part of me...
I have yet to achieve
I just want
To finish school
It's the last piece to my puzzle
I'm in desperate need
I have dreams
That I will not share
Because haters can
Aim arrows
And knock them
Right out of mid air
I'll keep them to myself
So I won't get jinxed
So for my conclusion
I am miserable
At the moment
Because I just need to do
What I must
And that is finish school
I am so close
Yet so far
And every time
I'm held back
It leaves a scar
On my heart
Because I'm one step
Further behind..
Every semester I sit out
My time ticks by...
********************************
Foia "F-w-aah"
About Me
- Foia
- I am a Mother, Teacher, Student, Model, Music lover, Eat all the time-r, and never gain any weight-er.. I am a poet, who doesn't follow the rules. I write my heart out literally. I will continue until my heart no longer has a beat. I love to read anything from Cosmo to Silvia Plath to *J. California Cooper*. I'm growing up, I don't want go to the club unless I'm working. *Go Cocktailers* I am a junior in college majoring in Communications/Journalism. I thought was going to teach, but then I realized I don't like to retain useless information.. I asst. teach at a Montessori school where I constantly catch colds. I love the kids though.Wit their bad asses! Back in the day I enjoyed long walks on the beach with my friends, but since I moved from Michigan to Atlanta where there is no beach at. All I can do is reminisce about stomping the sand from my flip flops as I walked into my mothers house. I don’t like math. In fact I loathe it. I was a Montessori child myself, and it made me that way. I am an advocate for mental health. Everyday I fight to break down the stigma. And I will keep going on and on because I love to write.
When I worked @ Motions Xmas time 07'
Check the boots..
2 comments:
Hey things are gonna work themselves out with school!!!
its good that you have that drive and ambition to want to finish....
rooting for you all the way that things are gonna work themselves out!!
and yeah i agree with you on the first poem....
that is another reason why i dont want these men polluting smooth cooch brown.
she is to be treasured, ya feel me!!
and i will be emailing you shortly!!! i have some things i want to tell you!!!
and thanks for not posting those comments....maybe it was for the best.....i know a few people who read and come and ask me about them later....look for the email tomorrow mami.
praying for ya....Dreamy
oh and i will show you how to add a few in a few!!
OMG! Are you reading my mind?! (Happy Belated Birthday, by the way) All my friends laugh at me because I am celibate for 2 reasons, one being I am trying to live virtuously and righteous and two is because I'm AFRAID of casual sex because of the increasing rise of HIV in Af. American women caused by none other than the nasty, careless, cowardly DOWN LOW man. I've been telling all my girls all men I meet now I am treating as a homosexual until they prove themselves to be straight! And the men don't know I think this, because then they will work overtime to be unsuspecting, but I know what I'm watching for...but it's a damned shame. The world...A MESS!
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